What makes swiss cheese brain like this? Is it truly hormonal?
Stress?. I ask too, because I kinda have swiss cheese short term memory loss, but I also know it's because Im trying to juggle at least 5 things at once.
Yes, stress. Which as T^2 points out, is part of the self focus as well. Survival mode allows us to have "narrow vision" preventing us from being affected by other, external (or internal) distractions...
Could you imagine if we didn't have that in us?
We meet up with a bear that has a cub and the bear decides we are too close and comes after us... and we turn... and...
SQUIRREL!!!! oooo... pretty, cute, funny squir...
More likely, we wouldn't have seen the squirrel... or at best, left the squirrel as bait for the bear...
Did I tell everyone I grabbed the green food coloring instead of the vanilla extract for pancakes yesterday?
We had alien looking chocolate chip pancakes yesterday morning for breakfast! But they were a hit and everyone wanted seconds.
Ok guys gotta confess. I got confirmation from SIL and it most DEFINATELY is not a bed of roses over there with XH and OW. SiL states she's know that XH is very much having regrets of his choices and he's pretty unhappy. OW complains about XH to SIL. Apparently XH moodiness is still with him and OW doesnt like it.Apparently Ow is psychotically jealous too.
At the same time from what I heard OW is really is a piece of work and she is NOT NICE to XH. Sounds as if she insults him every chance she gets.
XH b day was the 16th, he appeared down and depressed at first when the girls saw him, and then perked up after they were there. He loved his gift the girls gave him (which I picked out, and I think he possibly could figure it out based on what it was).
Ok Guys.... this is where Im feeling confused here. Karma obviously is coming full circle here. I have to confess it's self satisfying for a while, but after a while it's not.
I kinda feel sorry for him, cause she sounds really really mean. I can't imagine talking to anyone like the way she has to him.
Am I crazy to be concerned about someone that treated me so badly, that they're now getting it 10 fold?
I have to tell myself that this is his lesson, and XH has had so many oppurtinities and second chances from the Universe and God, and he chose not to listen. Maybe it's God's way of speaking a little louder to him.
Once again I just don't understand why we all just can't get along!
Did I tell everyone I grabbed the green food coloring instead of the vanilla extract for pancakes yesterday?
We had alien looking chocolate chip pancakes yesterday morning for breakfast! But they were a hit and everyone wanted seconds.
Ok guys gotta confess. I got confirmation from SIL and it most DEFINATELY is not a bed of roses over there with XH and OW. SiL states she's know that XH is very much having regrets of his choices and he's pretty unhappy. OW complains about XH to SIL. Apparently XH moodiness is still with him and OW doesnt like it.Apparently Ow is psychotically jealous too.
At the same time from what I heard OW is really is a piece of work and she is NOT NICE to XH. Sounds as if she insults him every chance she gets.
XH b day was the 16th, he appeared down and depressed at first when the girls saw him, and then perked up after they were there. He loved his gift the girls gave him (which I picked out, and I think he possibly could figure it out based on what it was).
Ok Guys.... this is where Im feeling confused here. Karma obviously is coming full circle here. I have to confess it's self satisfying for a while, but after a while it's not.
I kinda feel sorry for him, cause she sounds really really mean. I can't imagine talking to anyone like the way she has to him.
Am I crazy to be concerned about someone that treated me so badly, that they're now getting it 10 fold?
I have to tell myself that this is his lesson, and XH has had so many oppurtinities and second chances from the Universe and God, and he chose not to listen. Maybe it's God's way of speaking a little louder to him.
Once again I just don't understand why we all just can't get along!
XH,
Is stuck on those strong affair feelings, the strong sex, the strong pull as he's messing with fire. It's probably mostly gone now, that she "has him", he's left with paings that she never intends to fill again. She's being mean to him to "keep him off of her".
If only he knew his solution was to admit his faults, bring his self home back to his supportive and loving wife. That the whole world will look a whole lot better, and you will give him a safe place to heal his mind and his heart.
Staying with the OW, she will tear him down into a deep bottomless pit, it's like she's building up a powerful demon off of him. He's likely grasping to her for "love", the old feelings and all, and she's kicking him in his teeth. If H only understood this is a typical pattern of a "mean cheater", and it's time for him to leave.
Weird Kimmerz...my H's birthday was the 16th as well! Another eerie coincidence. Yes you want to be happy that their choices are biting them in the butt but it's still pathetic and sad. You just want to shake them. But its like everyone has said you just have to sit back, take care of yourself and your kids and let their choices have consequences.
Keep hanging in there!!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Green pancakes? I'm sure they were a surprise to all, but a nice shake up in the scheme of things.
Be careful what you discuss w/your SIL. Yes, your xh may not be a happy camper because of the situation that he has placed himself in, but he's the only one that can dig himself out. The ow apparently hasn't "performed" to her highest standard yet w/him. Maybe this is the way his own parents behaved when he was a child and he has to live the scenario out completely...
I'm glad he loved his gift. It was one the bright star in his day and it just might be a nice reminder of what he gave up.
Yes, we can feel sorry for them, but they are the ones that chose to leave and hook up w/op. No, you are not crazy to be concerned, but be careful that you do not allow this concern to soften your boundaries towards him. He has to face the consequences of his actions completely as he grows up.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I have to confess it's self satisfying for a while, but after a while it's not.
That's a hard lesson, isn't it? Remember the anger and how you wanted stuff like this to happen to him? I remember those days. But I saw this kind of thing happening and really don't wish it on ex. I think you saw/see why, but wanted to call it out for others to see as well.
Nobody is happy if ex is unhappy, even if we at times think we would be. That's our bruised ego talking, but after it calms down, we find that it's not satisfying to see them suffer.
I remember when ex was sooooo depressed and living here. I almost gave in to her craziness then just to try and get her out of it. I didn't, and I'm glad I didn't, but it's because I knew I wouldn't be happy with that either. Because I don't want to see her angry and depressed even if with the things she chose to do toward me.
I won't return anger for anger. I just plain won't as I see it as a bad cycle that hurts everyone.
Hang in there, and as Snodderly mentions, he needs to face the consequences. He needs to make the changes for him in his life. Watch from a safe distance if you must
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Thanks Daddy long shanks for that input. I didn't see your post before but found it tonight as I was coming to post for more input at to WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON???
So girls just got home from camping with Dad for 2 days. I was just told of something else that OW did that was just AWFUL.
Apparently he's now letting her drive his truck....took a year for him to do this. But he let her drive his truck to go grocery shopping. When she got home she found that the cheese she bought was moldy. She threw a complete fit because the cheese was from the store he works at. She said horrible things about the store because of this. She demanded that XH take the cheese back and exchange it for cheese that was not moldy and bring it back to her!
WTH is up with that???? She purchases cheese, it's moldy. Yet she throws a fit and demands XH takes it back himself, after she demeans his work place because of it?
And XH flipping did it!
I don't get this at all. He literally licks the dirt off her boots, yet if I do anything out of line, he spews at me like no other! I stand up to him when he acts like a jerk and pushes boundaries and Im verbally and mentally abused. She insults his cooking, insults his place of work that pays for all her things, and he's running around with his tail between his legs saying "yes dear".
Is it possible that he's taking his frustrations out on me that are due to her? Is this some sort of sick and twisted S&M sex thing?
I just don't get it. I do NOT understand how he makes me out to be such a horrific person, yet is literally being treated like dirt infront of his very own children by this woman, and he takes it! If I asked ANYTHING of him the last few months he was here, I was punished for it. Yet she can scream about moldy cheese and not enough mushrooms on her sandwhich and it's ok?
SEriously....Karma is a bitch. Why should I even care? He won't even talk to me now because we had a fight over a stolen ipod/touch. Yet she can kick him in the teeth like this over and over again?
Can someone explain to me just how a woman manipulates a man like that? I know he made his choices but he acts so flipping brainwashed by this woman. What on EARTH do these OP do or say to them to make them put up with this crap?
