brit is my guru girl.. would never bag on her! that being said.. there have been a few women who have really helped me even tho they are girls.. BUG!!
I don't know how I missed this but thank you Dakota I wanted to run over to your thread now that I'm "back" I did crack up at Brit's a girl but...You know I was the only girl who played touch football with the boys or basketball from the time I was a kid to when I was in high school and I was still nominated for homecoming queen. So no worries I'm used to it!
You're getting fantastic advice from 25! Look out for you in this whole D sitch because quite frankly no one else is.
Quote:
You DO get better and so will your life. (It already is when you think about it. A growing sense of peace is beginning to show itself...)
And there are always going to be people who need to hear that they, like you,
can survive this....and someday thrive.
You're taking the steps you need to take.
This was beautiful and made me cry! A lot of that going on around here. I hope you stick around and post to others even though you're going to be busy. I think a lot of men need to hear that you felt like them and now you don't. Remember how you felt when you first joined? I do...hopeless, distraught, scared, angry, rejected and hurt...look how far you've come.
I didn't know you were going back to college! That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you. I always think money spent travelling or for education is money well spent. It will be great for your mind to be active with new things. You'll meeting new people and you'll feel confident. Exciting!!!!
brit- im glad you are back! been anxiously awaiting your return as i'm sure alot of others have as well. i hope your trip was full of fun and beautiful memories.
i do remember how i felt when i joined. horrible, a failure, inadequate, and sad. sad was the biggest. i am cycling through the sad again. little things are triggering it. packing up stuff. thinking of the memories. it's a little different though. its a bittersweet sad. thinking of the happy memories. knowing they are gone.
i am excited for the new chapter of my life. scared to. wondering what is going to happen. college will be fun. i am a high school dropout. i graduated top of my class with honors from tech school for electrical. i like college. i hope i get everything figured out in time. i have been having trouble, but am getting it figured out.
i do not really post to others. there are alot of new stories here and i am a little overwhelmed by the level of pain and hurt. i dont believe i have much for advice. i didnt fail i just decided i had enough. i dont want to broadcast that message, as i feel it is anti db. maybe i will feel able to offer support to others someday. who knows.
i am glad you are back, my friend who is a GIRL. lol I will have fun at hockey camp and so will my son. hockey is life for us and its in my hometown. sacred ice and all that! i missed ya!
when are you back Dakota? How long is this hockey thing anyway!
Quote:
i didnt fail i just decided i had enough. i dont want to broadcast that message, as i feel it is anti db.
you are allowed to set your own boundaries. I'm happy for you a new chapter.
Sadness still happens to me. Along with bitterness and anger. Well less on the sadness. But random thoughts like I'll probably never see his dad again.
wow.. didnt realize it had been this long since i updated. been super busy. hockey camp went good. i wasnt able to go. i moved to a new house the day we were going to leave. my help all bailed on me, so i ended up doing it all alone. long day but i got it done and didnt break anything! thank god for my wonderful mother. she came 6.5 hrs away to get S. that really made his day. he loves his grandma.
still trying to unpack 2 weeks later. im not good at that, but i am figuring it out. decorating is going to require some help. lol i started college again this week. alot of hoops to jump through to get in. i'm in and thats what matters.
my STBX is completely insane. i am not bad mouthing her. just stating the facts. her behaviors are so erratic and strange. calling me to whine about her personal life and problems. i politely listen for a few minutes then end the convo, as i really dont care. she made these choices, and now has to deal with the consequences. then she will call and yell and scream. i hang up. txt me hateful stuff about how i ruined her life. i do not respond. going dark is pretty easy these days..lol
my divorce will be final on the 9th. i have my kids for 24 of the next 28 days because she is to busy.. wonder how custody will play out. i dont have a L and that doesnt bother me. thanks to 25 and bug i have been writing my own docs. actually pretty easy. she wont take the kids, as she barely wants them now. anything else she wants, she can have. she will never take my love and new found appreciation for myself and life. i actually love myself these days. i know i am a good man and she is a fool. i turn down dates alot. i am busy and kind of just not into it. went on a few and had fun. my stadards are pretty high these days. one day i will meet someone i really connect with. i am in no hurry. im enjoying being me again.
she does not want her wedding rings at all. wants nothing that has to do with that. so i have an appt. scheduled for after the D. i am selling the rings and using the money to pay for a tattoo. been itching for another one for awhile. getting a big phoenix on my arm. crying a single tear. a phoenix's tear will grant immortality they say. i feel it is pretty appropriate.
9/17 i will have one year of sobriety. i have been getting asked to speak at meetings lately. last week i was the main speaker. wierd to be asked, but nice to be of service. my sponsor has been alot of help, and he says i have helped him.
life is getting better. no expectations, right brit? sounds wierd, but my god has that helped me. i am living life the best i can and taking the time to enjoy the small things. gotta love the strawberries. my new house is smaller which may seem like a drawback. i love it. it is right next to the greenbelt and that is a great run! doin 3 miles in 16 mins these days. tore my shoulder, so i havent been lifting. i can still run!
i have a 4 day weekend to get caught up on stuff and have fun with the kiddos! its going to be good.
Dakota you sound like you're doing great! So happy you checked in!!
no plans no expectations has really helped me too. And the no timeline. I think not just in relationships we get caught up in trying to have everything planned out and then we don't enjoy life.
I'm trying to apply that in my new dating life. Errr it's difficult.
I love the tattoo idea. I was thinking of taking my ring (gave one back) to a jeweller and having something else made from it.
the dating part stinks. i dont have any expectations yet i feel wierd about it. i dont like my kids being able to know i am talking to other women. i do not bring any around them. some women get wierd about it, so i stop talking to them. thats why i am not pursuing 75% of the date offers. i have no timeline. i am in no hurry to be serious with anyone. someday maybe. right now i am busy being me. sounds selfish, but thats what it is.
the tattoo is big for me. when i met her, she didnt know i had any tattoos as one are visible when i have clothes on. i have always been on the alternative side..lol tattoos, mohawks, good music. i had a shaved head when we met. we started dating and she would make comments about how i was a little wierd. then she got pregnant on accident. i did te right thing and married her. we were happy, yet i think it was forced alot on both parts. the only tattoo i got while we were together was a cover up. she always said she didnt like freaks. lol i lost so much of myself trying to make her love me. now i am free. free to be me. i have been through hell and am still standing. so the phoenix will be appropriate. she makes comments whenever she sees me. doesnt like my ear rings. my clothes are ugly etc. i dont even care. i laugh. a part of me thinks she is jealous. i know who i am and she doesnt have a clue who she is.
life is funny. stuff you want to happen doesnt and stuff you never thought could happen does.
No, you're doing the right thing. If I met a guy and he was cool with introducing me to kids within a few months I'd think that was weird. Your kids shouldn't meet anyone until it's a sure thing you know?
I am giving myself permission more and more to be who I am and not what I thought I should be or what other people want me to be. (or what I think they want me to be???) Acceptance of yourself is a good thing. Not a rebellion like yeah you never liked that and look at me now...but just confident in the things you like and who you are. Good for you!
Ps do you ever check out Michelle WD's DB facebook page? I really like what she said today about hollywood giving us unreal expectations.
