Lost and need some guidance on my next steps

[Denver_2010]

Don't miss my question in the above post...

Reading through your original post and just found something that I had to respond to immediately. Otherwise, I will forget.

"she asked me a question: Why didn't I fight for her to stay? This devestated me and I went off on a tangent about how hard I was fighting, how I fought for her all the time while we were together, but I'd come to find out it didn't work, so I decided to let her go and find happiness in central Florida, with the OM or whatever.

I was devastated at my own reaction to her question, as I felt I attacked her and didn't keep my cool. I went to see my therapist yesterday, who advised that instead of continuing to profusely apologize about my actions, I send her a quick email asking if she would be interested if I started persuing her more in the hopes of rekindling our relationship. As she'd initiated the relationship talk, this seemed like a good idea.

She responded to the email telling me that she was glad I'd reacted the way I did because it gave her some answers. She told me that she felt that I never fought for her in our relationship, even though I always told her I'd do anything for her. She felt I didn't fight for her when she had disagreements with my family, when she brought up her unhappiness in south Florida etc. She told me that she cared deeply for me and always wants me in her life, but feels there was too much damage done by both of us to ever fix it. She said she hurt me too much and feels I'll never be able to get past that.

I called her immediately and asked if she wanted to talk about it. She went into a little more detail, about how upset she was over how happy she is in central Florida over the last 3 months without me, about how unhappy she was for the last few years and unfortunately I was a big part of that, and that she can't see us being together again."

This sounds almost identical to some of what my W told me in the early part of our S.

I also find some similarity in that you and you W were only M'd 15 months at the time that she left. My W and I were at 16 months when she left me (17 when she physically left).

I feel that it is important for me to point this out as I go so that you get a sense of the similarity. That might affect how you go about making decisions moving forward.

I don't know a lot about Starsky's sitch. He knows pretty much everything about mine. But I did see that he thought it was 'scary' how similar some stuff sounded. I have to tell you the same thing about yours and mine.

More later.