Yes, you've got it right, Carnac. Whether or not there is an affair, it still is the same dynamic: "Why do I so badly want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with ME?" It may be simple co-dependency, but it could be other underlying issues, but I still firmly believe that unless you solve THIS, you are destined for relationship failure no matter what. Either your walkaway/wayward spouse will come back to you, and since you still haven't addressed this issue you will once again push them away with your neediness . . . .or . . . you will D, and you will repeat the same dysfunction in your next (and next, and next, and . . .) one.
