Starsky: Just wanted to seek out your thread and thank you so much for this post on alkalinethoughts thread.
I'm beginning to realize that whatever marital problems I may have, that I really need to get to the root of and begin to address my own PERSONAL contributions to the dysfunction. And what I'm asking for help with is, what is it about me that would make me want to continue to pursue someone who is cheating on me, and why does it make me so sad that -- even in her CURRENT DESTRUCTIVE PATH -- I can't be with her? I want to figure this out, and learn to lay out and enforce healthier boundaries and build healthier self-esteem, so that WHATEVER my wife decides to do about THIS marriage, I will be healthier in my FUTURE relationships. Is it co-dependence, or something else
again i've said before I really don't know if my wife is involved with someone or not b/c I honestly haven't snooped this time. I know at one time she was in an EA, but have no idea right now where any of that stands, but I still really needed to read this, im going to see my Ic tomorrow and I thnk that you could replace the 'continuing to pursue someone who is cheating on me' with continuing to pursue someone who clearly wants nothing to do with me...continuing to pursue someone who is intent on tearing our family apart, or any other number of lines and it has the same resonance in my mind.
So tomorrow when I see my IC im going to give him some variation of those and then tell him lets get to work on what inside of me allows myself to be treated in that way.
