I messed up my marriage with out even realizing it. My story sounds like it is right out of the DR book it is scary. My wife worked hard to to keep the intimacy in our marriage going but because, of what it retrospect were not over important issues, I acted poorly to say the least. I acted passive aggressively and ignored her. I simply thought that this was how marriage was. I do not what to rehash the past to much as what I am looking for is solutions right now. I know I screwed this up. I also know I can change. I do not want to be unhappy, nor do I want her to be either. I was stupid to say the least.
About 3 weeks ago my wife asked for a separation. We have two kids. I was shocked and did not see it coming even though I knew both of us were unhappy. I begged for a chance and she gave it to me. For the next two weeks I acted crazy to say the least. I am lucky to own my own business so I took a vacation the family to Universal. Bought my wife whatever she wanted and then some. Told her I loved her repeatedly with no response. Touched her and hugged her with no response. During the first week I did get the "I love you but I do not love you" comment. I always thought my wife was the most forgiving person but she brought up grievances back to before we were married, told me she has wanted to leave for 6+ years, and that she had an EA with another guy. One blow after another. I told her I forgave her and wanted to move forward but "I heard no forgiveness from her." She told me that night if I was pressuring her she would separate. During this time I sent her emails and love letters with no response. That night I think I sent her 2 texts and three emails. I did not sleep. In the morning she did hug me and say she wanted to try and work it out.
A week ago I saw the light and did my 180. Hardest thing I have done in my life. We are still living together. Still spend time with the kids. Have no plans for the future to do anything together. Do not touch physically but we sleep in the same bed. I crumbled yesterday and sent her flowers with a note saying I would love to take her on a date when she was ready. Her response was a thank you. No mention about a date. Was a step back emotionally but I realize I set myself up for that one.
She is the love of my life which is what makes this so sad. Not sure how I let this happen. The good news is that we are together in a sense. We do spend time together because of the kids and it is always enjoyable. It has only been a week since my 180 and I know I am looking for a miracle. The waiting is the hard part. A lot of regrets. Just looking for hope.
