Thanks DLS. I worry about giving her an ultimatum...not so much for the fear of her leaving, but more for her taking it as a controlling behavior. When she even thinks it might be controlling, these days she digs in and just goes the opposite way on principle alone.
For the time being, I've simply created some distance between us, but that's a short term thing only. While I'm concerned about the conversation, I do think it's going to have to happen relatively soon. I don't like the way I feel about it, and honestly, I'd be fine to let her go if she thinks that's ok behavior.
On a positive note, I have continued to send my W a text every couple of days apologizing for something specific...I'm really amazed at what a positive effect it's had on her. This morning, she actually sent me one! I am still in shock. It wasn't for one of her bigger mistakes, but her owning her own behavior and actually apologizing is huge.
