I'm about 99.9% sure she's having a PA. The .1% only exists because she hasn't actually admitted to it, but the evidence is positively overwhelming.
EA/PA to me are practically the same thing... both are devastating to trust, our R, and set a very clear set of things that will need to be addressed if/when she decides to try to give it another go. I don't believe the A is the cause of the issues in our marriage, but a symptom of the issues that festered inside her head and our communications...
The A is not a dealbreaker for me, although obviously the road back to R will be much harder and more complicated now. I've been operating knowing she's having an A... Trying to balance the advice of my IC and DB/DR...
And despite the fact that I might now WANT to hear your feedback on the sitch, I think I may NEED to... As it seems you have been in a similar situation and were able to find your way through it.
