Carnac, this is good input. It’s very helpful for a lot of people out there! I feel it doesn’t matter if we are new or vets, this is just how it works sometimes. The way you describe W is “flat” and I wouldn’t read into it too much. To be honest, I feel I am somewhat flat with my W. Maybe it’s just because I am a bit numb or that I am not very good at expressing my feelings (or don’t want to) which it sounds like your W has a hard time doing.
Regardless, everything you talk about resonates with me. It’s interesting that you brought up this subject because on my way to work this morning. BTW, I am also a desk jockey that can do what I want without getting much kickback. I was thinking how good it would be if I had a job in another industry, say construction. That way I would be out in the field so I wouldn’t be in front of my computer but the more I thought about it, I still would obsess about my sitch. I feel it’s going to happen regardless of profession, new/vet, etc….. It’s because we love our wives and we care, we want our family to be intact!!!!
Once again, please stay strong buddy, don’t let her scare you, don’t let her get to you. That’s my choice and it’s your choice. I love my W so much but I doubt I would take her back the way things were between us, I wouldn’t give in. I am not saying this is you by any means, just expressing my thoughts. I guess it's just the mindset I have because if I want to grow I need to remember all the challenges that we had.
Yes, I want to have a better and happier marriage, no doubt about that however just because my W is the one that initiated the separation, I still don’t have the mindset that she’s the one holding all the cards.
Rough,
Me(M):38 W:43 T: 14 M: 11 S: 8 D: 4 W wanted separation 5/5 Stopped living together 5/5
“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude”. Thomas Jefferson
