Grace, Love, Compassion, & Faith - Looks Like What

[Valeska19]

Part 2.

In my last post, I said that this was probably the hardest yet the best days of my life.

That seems like an impossible sentence in many ways.

For me, the hardest parts came after everything was over.

I appreciate what everyone said about my kindness. Lots of prayer there and thankfully I wasn’t alone. I don’t even think I can take credit… actually I know I can’t.

But after it was over, I lost my sh!t in the car. I was SOO angry. .. and I was having a hard time releasing it.

“How dare she that she was sad because she was losing me… but she still was choosing it”

“How dare she say she wasn’t gone .. but wouldn’t make the choice to come back to me”

“How dare she apologize.. but not try to make amends”

“How dare she brag to me about all the things I really wanted us to do together”

And even though I intellectually understood that I would one day appreciate her kind words.. that day I just couldn’t get my heart there.

And the fact that I couldn’t do that or be happy that she was trying new things, upset me. My best friend reminded me that some days I just need to show grace to myself

Regardless, It hurt so bad and for me that was the surprise emotion. That was the hardest part.


Onto the best day part of it.

After I was able to finally release all that hurt and anger… I realized that it was a good day.

I did it. With the love and support of others, I didn’t break. I think back to what Truegritter said about how he wouldn’t break..

And 25 – you were so right… I AM so thankful that I never was petty or vengeful.

I loved my wife and honored my vows from the moment I said I do – to the moment I signed it over.

And I truly have NO regrets.

I thank God for giving me the strength to love her through all this, to push me to love as he does.

So what did I do with the rest of my weekend you ask…..

…. Well I GALed the sh!t out of it of course!

Saturday was my first gun show and whale watching at Newport Beach.

Sunday was a beach day and successfully running my first 10k.

I feel there may be a part 3. A closure of sorts to this board as this book is finally closed.

I don’t know… will have to think about it some.

Until then.. keep on keeping on!