Tried re-engaging but unfortunately that led to behavior that wasn't healthy for either of us. So all contact has to stop; it's just too tempting.
I asked him today to not contact me again as long as he is still in new R. Too difficult for now and I feel like the OW.
He doesn't trust me enough to let go of the new R and wants to see how things work out with her. He says he doesn't want to hurt her...
And I don't blame him for not trusting me, but I can only say "sorry" and "I'll do better" so many times. It would take actions and MC to 'show' him and that's not possible as long as he's with her.
So I will live my life, not quite like I was before, but I will be happy. He's encouraging me to date, but I can't do that as long as I have feelings for him.
My C encouraged me today to start a journal. Here's as good a place as any!
