More patience??? Really???

[ces67]

Thanks all, MC went well. It was our first time back in a year so we didn't really get into too much. Our MCr was good to say how glad she was to see us and how proud she was that we had returned. She mentioned that she was "closing out old files" and when she came across ours to close out she saw that we were on her schedule so she got to keep the file open.

No real negatives from the session. We both gave some high level summaries of where each of us were, and where we still see struggles. We both agreed that neither of us feel safe in dealing with conflict. W said she still feels as if she is being attacked when topics come up and I simply said it didn't feel safe to get into these conversations.

I spoke about some personal discoveries of my patterns learned as I grew up and how they were negatively impacting me and our M. Our MCr picked up on this and took the conversation a bit further which allowed my W to talk about the impacts to her growing up in an abusive/alcoholic home.

So from this, we have homework to identify our patterns for dealing (or avoiding) conflict that we will talk about at our next appt.

And after the appt, I asked my W if she wanted to go to lunch and so we went and had lunch together. We didn't talk about the session and it was kind of quiet at first, but we went and that is definitely a first since the last time we had MC, we typically left feeling a bit wounded and hurt.

Still lots to deal with but it was a very good step in a good direction. I was very aware of my thoughts/feelings and kept my mouth shut to avoid anything that could come out accusatory. So the counseling could remain someplace that felt safe for her.

I also appreciate that our MCr acknowledged that as things improve that I personally may end up struggling with my wounds because I've had to delay dealing with my hurt while I wait for my W to be willing to take part in our healing. She said that is normal and I'm glad my W got to hear that as well. But that is for another day in the future and I have no pressing need to get there before its time.