Mandy, you are one of the more unique people here as a "recovering" WAW. There are a few vets here (Sandi2 and Brit45, to name a couple) who might notice your thread and pop in to offer support.
Please keep posting short messages, even if it's just to journal once or twice a day, as it will help you get off moderation sooner and your posts will appear immediately.
I believe that the first support you will get will suggest that you follow Sandi2's 37 rules as well as to detach, live for yourself, and standard DB fare which you find most newbies are recommended.
I'm going to take a different tack, here.
DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!
You spent the better part of two years distancing yourself from your H.
Now might be a VERY GOOD TIME to start re-engaging him.
You are afraid to ask him if there's still a chance? Why? Because you are afraid his answer will be, "No thanks, I've moved on."?
I'm not suggesting you ask him, yet. But at this time, please stop encouraging him to be with OW. Yes, she is OW (unless you are divorced now). Stop being happy for him because he's "happy" in his new life and relationship...
You DO NOT KNOW THAT...
He could very well be trying to make the best of his life, now. Putting on a brave face for you, etc...
So, rather than distance yourself...
You need to be a real catch, yourself.
Fix what ever complaints he had about you that were valid AND that you WANT to fix or make better...
and then, include him as much as possible... AS A FRIEND... in your life...
See what happens...
You do need to be doing this in order to maintain a great friendship with him. So IF you decide to go this route, you would need to have NO expectations that it will lead to reconciliation.
Still... there might be a chance that this draws him towards you and helps him realize that your changes are real AND permanent and that life with you would be much better for him, into the future.
IF he decides to re-engage and work on the M. THAT would be when the two of you should seek a M friendly (DB friendly, if possible) counsellor to help the two of you work out any remaining issues.