Stronger

[mishka422]

I know, time for huge changes but I'm too scared to do it. I love him in so many ways but I shut myself down in order to keep peace.

Honestly, it's not really him that is the problem here. I know it's me. I know that it's not fair of me to be unsatisfied with the way things are when I'm not willing or able to speak up and tell him what I want and need. There is a part of me that just wants to break out and say what it is I want but the rest of me says to shut up and suck it up and keep everyone in their happy place since that is better for the family.

I just can't seem to break through that sick part. It's so frustrating!

He's not a mind reader and, let's face it, he is a man after all. Most of them aren't too in tune to feelings or emotion of any kind. He's especially out of touch with emotion since he was abused as a child. He shuts down faster than I do.

UGH. Why do damaged people gravitate toward each other?