Regardless of how Jon feels, of how my marriage is, life goes on...
That's all I can say for now...
My only option is to focus on me. I am almost done setting up my exercise room and am working on cleaning out the front room, going through things to toss, sale or downsize basically.
I made an appointment with my primary care manager to get a referral for a counselor- for medication and counseling, I found a few that specialize in family counseling and one who deals with post traumatic stress disorder (which is what my husband is getting out of the military for).
For now I am goal setting and getting a life and kind of just putting my marriage on hold, if that makes sense.
I read "When good people have affairs" and it really was eye opening, I am reccomending that my husband read it and also told him that as soon as he can he needs to see a counselor that he can be 100 percent honest with and work on his life.
For now, I am just making the best of our time together- and being his friend.
My family is pushing me to make a decision, but I am not ready to close this door. My husband is still my best friend, and I cannot walk away yet or give up on the chance of working on this.
I am a little concerned about the holidays but I just found out that my friend's husband is deploying in October so I know I can get through the holidays with her and not feel like I am intruding on her husband and her time.
I just wanted to check in and give you an update. Its good to have a place to come and be myself and be honest. Thanks for listening.
M-28 H-28 M-9 1/2 years T- 12 years PA- 01/02/12 (still going on)
