Pretty good weekend...kept busy, had some fun with friends and my oldest son. After church yesterday, W and I worked in the yard a bit, then hung out on the patio and talked for a bit. The discussion moved to forgiveness and dialoguing and while I didn't ask anything about R directly, I got the sense that she sees things quite a bit differently than I (yeah, shocker I know). I have been taking it day by day, without expectations...I got the sense that she has kinda melded back into our old relationship. I didn't want to spook her, so I just let the conversation flow, but it honestly scares me. That's not what I want.
Troubling things:
- W has password protected her phone. On one hand, the last thing I want to do is snoop, so I don't care, but on the other, this seems to go directly against the idea of rebuilding trust.
- W talked to OM this morning, in our house, with me here, for 15-20 mins. It was just like old times...very little work talk, mostly bs catching up kinda stuff. I have told W, in no uncertain terms, that I would not accept OM in our M in any shape or form, so this clearly is a slap in the face.
- I needed an email address from W so she pulled it up on her laptop and I clearly saw 2-3 emails from OM (unread). On one hand, she actually brought the laptop to me and left the room, so she wasn't wasn't worried about the possibility of me taking a look (I didn't), but still, continued contact with OM is troubling.
W left this morning and asked me multiple times what was wrong with me...my poker face suks, but I just said "nothing." She actually hugged me before she left, which is odd since she pretty much just leaves without even looking at me most days.
W has only been back a couple of weeks, so I realize it's pretty early in the process, but I'm really not sure how to proceed. Do I 1) have a sit down with W at this point and let her know I won't accept any contact with OM or 2) just roll with it for the time being or 3) ask her to explain where she is and what she's thinking?
How do I prevent being a doormat without pressuring W?
