A New Path - I just left my wife

[Starsky309]

You know what buddy. Go another day.

You counter depression with water ( lots and lots of water ) and exercise.

When you want a drink. Leave your wallet at home grab a bottle of poweraid and go for a run.

Each time you think your down in the dumps. Drop and do 5 push up's and 20 sit ups.

Do this over and over.

And get into a routine again.

Go to bed and get up the same time every day. No matter how you feel.

You are suffering from depression.

You have anywhere else to stay ? Family. Good friends who have children ? Friends who exercise and have healthy habits ?

Get yourself into shape mentally.

This is good advice ^^^^, tpc, and I would add to it "post early and often here." Come here to vent, get advice, or just get a good cry out -- we are here to help and support you in whatever way we can.

I will pray for you, as well.


Starsky

[unbidden]

TPC, I feel for you too. But you can make it through this-- and as an even better person. Just breathe and take the advice here. It's gold. I am consistently moved beyond words by all the support that's offered here. Just take one day at a time.

[tpc1977]

There are easy days and tough days. Days where I fight tooth and nail and days where I give into temptations.

I went to the beach with some of my family. Took my daughter with me. The loneliness was almost unbearable. It was our first vacation apart. The first where my daughter celebrated her birthday without her mom. My mind has been in a fog for a very long time leading up to, during, and after the beach trip. I am worn slap out, beat down, and hating myself.

Tomorrow I want to start anew. There are things that I have done which I am not proud of and have only worsened these feelings of hopelessness. Tomorrow. Tomorrow is where I start again.

[tpc1977]

Today I started anew.
I found out my step daughter is getting into things she shouldn't. She's 17 and getting into bad habits. My daughter, 13, is telling me things in secret and sometimes cries about it. She doesn't want to live with them anymore.

I spoke to my wife and it didn't end well. I really kept my cool about it and voiced my concern but was hit pretty aggressively with how I’m not around enough to see what’s really going on. I couldn’t argue about it in all honesty so I left it. All I see my wife doing is leaving her to do what she wants, when she wants. The 17 year old is throwing parties at the house when my wife goes to spend time with her man and there is drinking and who know what else.

So I’ve decided to get involved more. Way more. I’m going to slowly build up a strong relationship with her on the phone and in person. I want her to know I'm still in her life, still care, and still expect the best out of her. I hope she sees what she’s getting involved with is corruptive and can throw her way off course.

My other concern is my wife. She’s let go of so much to be with this guy. She back doing things she shouldn't and it worries me. I miss her still, tremendously and wish I was still with her. Well, if she was in a better place.

[tpc1977]

It's ner birthday today. Yesterday she spent the afternoon til the late evening with the man she cheated on me with.

That day I took our youngest girl shopping for school. When we returned to the house my wife wasn't there. She called and told our daughter she would be home late. Then called again and said it would be much later. Our daughter had several friends coming over to stay the night. All of them were going to get ready together for school. Wife later phoned in a pizza for them. Then called and said it was going to be late before she got home.

I cleaned the house since it looked like it hadn't been touched in a while. I didn't want kids coming over to see it like that. My yard is a mess too. But I have to just get over it.

What I can't get over is the fact that after almost 15 years I am nothing to her. Her new life is above me and all we shared. I never show any emotions but happiness around my wife and kids when I see them. I try hard to be in good spirits all the time.

Talked to a lawyer Friday. I'm slowly going to get things in order for our legal separation and eventual divorce. I walked away from any ideas about God. But sometimes, out of habit, I ask for a sign to see if there is any chance we could be together. So far, if God exists, he's only shown me there isn't.

[Starsky309]

She's lost, man -- pure and simple, LOST. All you can do is pray for her.

I feel for you, brother.


Starsky

[MrBond]

"I walked away from any ideas about God. But sometimes, out of habit, I ask for a sign to see if there is any chance we could be together. So far, if God exists, he's only shown me there isn't."

I'm not exactly a heavy church-goer but isn't this a bit extreme? You know He gave everyone free will. You have free will as well as your W. Just because you're not getting what you want, it doesn't mean that He's not out there. Did you ever think that He set up the situation for you to learn something in the end? I know I did.

I felt the same way you did, but then I realized that if this didn't happen I wouldn't understand what being in a good marriage is or that I wouldn't be as good a father as I am now.

Just sounds childish that you back pedal from God just because you don't get what you want. Faith in Him is unwaivering no matter what the circumstances. And there's ALWAYS someone who is worse off than you. Thank God you're not one of the people who is struggling with a D and have health issues or have had the cops called on them. It's happend many times on here.

[tpc1977]

I back pedal a long time before we split. It really has nothing to do with our separation or marriage problems. This was personal. A very personal decision I made one day while doing my devotions.

I was on my second full year of getting up every morning, reading the bible, journaling, and praying. One morning I just stopped. That was it. I was on my fourth time reading the bible cover to cover, second time straight. I closed the bible, closed my journal, stopped praying ... and that was it.

I wasn't getting answers. I wasn't feeling anything spiritual. I wasn't led astray. I just stopped.

That was probably close to a year or so ago. Ever since then I've been looking for the truth about Christianity and God and only come up with more questions than answers. More reasons to believe there may be a creator. But it may or may not be attached to one specific religion - or any religion for that matter.

[MrBond]

Well I don't know what you're expecting in terms of someone speaking to you or signs, etc. Many times enlightenment comes not from the literal reading of things but seeing what is not seen. Buddhism, Catholicism, Islam, it's all the same. Each person attains understanding differently and it isn't a matter of material things you get back in return.

[tpc1977]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into a religious perspective. That's not what I'm here for.

Yes, it's my fault that I brought it up.