Still Vera

[keep_going]

(((vera)))

The concerns you are expressing in your latest posts resonate a lot with me. I had similar issues with H last year.

- He got upset when I asked him after he moved out to give me heads up when he wanted to come over to the house. He argued this was his house too. I told him - you and I are now co-proprietors of this house, but this is my home, where I live, and you need to let me know when you want to come over and knock the door like anyone else, just like I would do if I went over to your new apt.
(make sure you say it w/o anger, just as a matter of fact).
Yes, they don't like it when we set boundaries... Their problem.

- When we needed to fix our old house to put on the market, H didn't do anything and spend all of last year traveling and partying with OW. Since I wanted to get it done and sell ASAP since we were out of money, I coordinated with contractors and did a lot of the work myself - while I was 8 months pregnant. I got it done and I don't think about what he didn't do...It was my financial benefit as well.

- If you are serious about buying him out, I think you need to get all your financial info in order. Because other things might come into play - do you guys have joint savings, retirement funds, other assets, debt, etc. it might be time to talk to a L.
Bottom line is, since your H is in his own private world, he will take you seriously when you present him a solid buyout proposal - and I WOULD NOT do it w/o having a very clear BIG picture of everything that affects you both financially and what you want as the final outcome of your financial separation.

Just my .02...
Hope it helps.