Badcompany back for more

[badcompany]

Starting a new thread. Last one got too big.

[badcompany]

Guess I need to recap for those just tuning in.


Three weeks ago, W stopped telling me she loved me, stopped kissing me, and started sleeping far away from me in bed. When I'd say 'i love you' I'd get no response.

W said she was depressed and wanted to see our therapist alone (going in 3 days)

I've tried to not push the subject, give her space, do things without her, but still make her feel loved and appreciated, and that I was there when she needed me to be.

Three days ago, W cuddled in bed and initiated ML.

[badcompany]

I was caught off guard, mind was racing, wasn't sure what the intentions were, so it didn't happen on my end. She said it was ok, it was partially her fault, and we could try again some other time. She took my hand til we fell asleep.

Still acts every bit like my wife, except for the I love you and kissing

[Cadet]

Last thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2267716&page=1

[badcompany]

Yes thank you

[Cadet]

W said she was depressed and wanted to see our therapist alone (going in 3 days)

Keep us advised as to what happens here.
Keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut.
Pray that she starts to do something for her depression.

This will be key to your marriages survival in the long run.

[badcompany]

Please elaborate on eyes, ears, and mouth.

[badcompany]

I should mention, for those that haven't seen the other thread in its entirety, that my wife still calls me babe, hunny, includes me in future plans (moving, vacations etc)

She has said lately that shes feeling a lot better. However, 3 weeks ago, when I noticed things were going south, I became very panicked due to the previous situation 4 years ago (OM, separation etc)

Still, even if it's just her being depressed and being doubtful, I'm here for her.

[Cadet]

Please elaborate on eyes, ears, and mouth.

It means to listen, watch, but dont talk about the depression.

She must FIX it on her own, not by you trying to CONTROL the sich.

You did not cause her depression and you can not FIX it.

If she goes to the IC and goes on meds, i.e. starts to work on her own depression there is a better chance that long term she will be healthy.

Basic DB'ing still applies.
Maybe you can learn about depression and being the spouse of someone who is depressed.

[badcompany]

Is it normal if you're depressed to stop telling your spouse you love them ?