Hi 25yrs. I always respect your point of view. I think I get what you're saying about fantasies. I believe that's what some call healthy fantasies.

I probably did a poor job of trying to explain what "I" meant. (I have to use quotation marks to emphasize b/c I can't use my underline.)

I try (but obviously fail) to put in my statements the words "some", "can", or even "most".....but not talk as if "all" people are one way. I do have strong beliefs about how fantasies can have very negative effects on a R. I believe it can be a seed of destruction.

I feel that when the woman feeds her fantasy of a man (real or fiction) to the point she is comparing her H with the OM....and he comes up short.....then there is a very real problem.

I believe I read on his first page that his W admitted to having a fantasy of a man she met through family members. To me, that is the beginning of an EA.

I don't think that is the same as what you were referring to, but IDK. At any rate, if his W felt that she should admit what she had been thinking to her H, then the way I see it....she must feel guilty about it.

(ugh.....I can't use my smiley pictures on this computer, either!) Anyway, I don't see you telling your H about one of your fantasies out of guilty feelings, 25. (lol) However, I do see you sharing something you believe might add spice to your already great sex life. You are to be envied my friend.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!