My H acted strangely for both sons birthdays this year.
I think these occasions may be a reminder to them about what they are doing and who they are hurting. And they don't like to be reminded.
My H totally checked out for my oldest son's birthday a few months ago. We had family from both sides over, and he was lucky he spoke 2 sentences the entire time. There were times he sat away from everyone just staring off into space.
Once the party was over, he did help me clean up. I thanked him, and he said, " it's the least I can do, I didn't do anything else." Then he got choked up and teary and said, "I'm sorry I'm not a better father." He was genuinely upset.
I feel for you and your children so much. At least mine are young enough to not know what is going on. I know it doesn't make it any better for them, or you, but I bet your H does have guilt for how he's acting. We are just the ones that end up picking up the pieces.
I hope your son does have a nice birthday, and feels loved despite H's antics.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
