Hi KG, thanks for the kind words. I saw your new thread pop up but I'm not terribly familiar with your situation apart from how 25 has summarized it. I generally don't feel super helpful in situations where folks have issues with the X and kids. I'll take a look soon
Originally Posted By: keep_going
You asked about how to answer re. the list.
I understand the thinking behind wanting him to work on it. But the most important one now is you. So I ask you: Are you in a hurry to get the stuff separated? Would that benefit you?
If so, then I'd say go ahead and make a "shareable" version of your personal list and set up a time to go over it with H.
If you are in no hurry, then do absolutely nothing. But remember that your H may take a long time to get going - you cannot control that.
Well, the benefit to me in doing it sooner would be to get this bandaid off faster! You may have seen that I am exploring whether I can buy him out of our house so the more things that can get wrapped up in our property settlement, the faster, the better in terms of getting a resolution on that.
It just drives me nuts that he doesn't get how much work is required to separate lives. And, after complaining about how much he had to travel for work, he has spent the past 4-5 months jamming in as much travel as he can and then filling the rest of the time with "personal leisure" trips (certainly more than we ever did together) and then says he hasn't had time to work on this stuff. And then he wants me to agree to list the house ASAP because he doesn't want to lose out on money if we don't hit the market at the fall peak. But he's been gone so much he hasn't really lifted a finger to actually get the house ready. %*#*@*$!!!
Today is yet another pattern of ours - I do work on the house and he's off doing whatever with friends. So I'm annoyed right now. (The weekend we moved into the house, he went on a 5-day roadtrip with friends and left me in a house full of boxes). But to get the house appraised so that I can possibly take it over - I have to do it.
Sorry, that was a lot of complaining. I see your point - what's best for me? Am I in a hurry? I guess the sooner this gets done the sooner I could just move on, which is what I want.
Quote:
I will continue following your sitch. You are doing great and dealing with some really difficult stuff. I feel for you - In the last year I have had to do a lot of this ugly "administrative" and housekeeping things with H to separate our lives and it's emotionally draining.
