Imo I think the WAS its the lost of control. For the longest time the LBS was fighting to save the marriage I mean look their willing to take back the spouse who has wounded them gravely.
WAS has all this "power to stay and work on the marriage or leave for the other person " and when they do leave they still give the LBS little tidbits of hope.
Once the LBS sees that no this isn't going to happen that their spouse is gone for good and start to moving on, WAS starts seeing "hey my ex is not there anymore" nor do they seem to care that I'm still with my OP and wait a minute they are not fixated on me, op or the marriage, now your dating moving on enjoying life without them, and now they are THE LBS because they are still in that same spot they moved to when they left the marriage
