Let me ask you a couple of questions. You don't have to answer here but you do need to answer. Is your wife TODAY someone that you would want to be with? If you took her back right now exactly as she is how long would your relationship realistically last? Can you honestly say that you would be happy in a relationship with your wife if she stays exactly the way she is today?
These are tough questions and the answers may be tough to face. However, when my therapist posed them to me it was like an eye opening experience. It made detaching and going NC seem so much easier because I realized that I was trying to get back together with an ideal version of my wife, not the woman that she is right now, and that a relationship with who she is would never make me happy or last. I continue to pray for her to make changes in her life but I also realize that praying is all I can do for her. Learn to focus on you right now, and you may be surprised what the Lord is waiting to bless you with.
