New to DB

[hopefulinga]

H is not taking the death of his friend well, as can be expected. I don't know how to react right now. I am trying to not say a whole lot. I don't know how to comfort him and don't know if he would want me to anyway.

I usually make breakfast on Sunday, which I was doing today and he told me he didn't want it. He would go out to eat if he wanted something.

I did ask him for a hug when he left this morning because I needed it. It wasn't an affectionate hug. I don't know whether or not he thinks I don't care, but I do. I am still in shock about what happened and haven't been able to let my emotions out. It is also hard for me to do that because H is a pilot and if he continues to fly, I cannot have visions of broken up airplanes in my head each time he goes up.

H was in a plane accident in 2004 and walked away unhurt. When people we know have accidents, it makes me think of 2004 and how I could have lost H. And it hurts a lot now when our M is on the rocks and I may lose him anyway. I wish I had a do over.