Honestly I do not fear loss. Loss is a part of life. I accept that my marriage is over and even if my W and I do get back together things will never be the same. I accept that we may never get back together. And the woman that she is now is not someone that I can live with. If she were to come to me today and ask me to come back without dealing with the problems in her life I would not do it.
What I fear is my heart becoming hardened and being unable to forgive. What scares me is watching her choose to walk down a road that I have been down myself when I know that road does not lead anywhere good. What I am most afraid of is not losing her but knowing from experience that if she keeps going down that road that she will lose herself.
However, you are right on one thing. It would be harder for me to quit because quitting would require not caring. Quitting would mean that I give up the most important change I have been trying to make in my life since this all started. Quitting would mean that I return to being self-centered and focused only on how things and people benefit me rather than caring and be concerned for the people around me.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
