Going Dark; Not Sure I Have The Strength

[NASCARDaddy]

Yeah, I am clearly not thinking straight right now. Everything that has gone on the last few days has completely confused, hurt, and frazzled. I knew that things were not going to get better after just a few weeks, but somehow I had deluded myself into believing that at least they wouldn't get any worse.

What perhaps makes it even worse is that despite all the mess that she has put me through, I still hope that reconciliation is possible at some point. I'm not even sure why I feel this way. It would be so much easier to just quit. I could just go on and live my life without all of her drama. And yet I continue to feel like there is hope for things to get better. I can't tell you how many times I have been right on the edge of giving up only to have a little voice in the back of my head tell me that I should not give up.