After 18 months - H is finally filing.

[25yearsmlc]

This did not come out right in my post above...

You wrote that he said to you--(after you wanted more CS)

"After all you have hurt me, I wished you could at least leave me with some dignity."

Two things-- 1) what exactly does he believe he's leaving you with? AND

2) Dignity comes from within anyhow.

But if he thinks you are trying to leave him in the lurch, he's forgetting he left a woman with a newborn and 2 kids under the age of 3 at the time...

If anyone says someone left another person without their dignity, it'd be him leaving you in that situation.

To me, that was close to being unforgivable, no matter what YOU had done to him (short of violence--but if you were so "abusive", why'd he leave his kids with you? My point isn't to defend your previous temper but to say that the word "abuse" is over used and frankly makes him sound weak, which he wasn't.)

Don't let him off the hook on THAT when he brings up your "abuse" - of the past.

You have to ask him 1) to let go of the past (or his version of it anyhow)

and

2) what he thinks of abandoning you w/a newborn (and toddlers).

I mean you both deeply wounded each other. He was not perfect to you, and you were unfairly burdened with too much for any woman. I doubt he realizes that, even now.

He did NOT make clear to you that he was about to leave. He avoided conflict and didn't own up to wanting out til he had nothing left, which he may give himself credit for-- but it didn't help his family after all, did it?

It was simply easier than facing you earlier. That's on him, isn't it? In sum,

You both have a lot of forgiveness work to do. Thing is, YOU'VE done a lot of it.