Needing some guidance... 5

[jks]

Thank you, CES. You are very right in so many ways. I am working on keeping the faith that all will be well. I've been spiritually working on myself a lot this week. I think that may be where a lot of my sadness comes from because my H seems to be so sure he has no interest in our religion. I believe it may actually be the one thing that could make us stronger. I will always believe that.

My focus has been working on the light from within me. I want to leave an impression of positive vibes where ever I go. I've also been really trying to harness my impatience and anger with my children. This is my BIGGEST struggle. Doing it alone is sometimes draining and frustrating. But I will continue to persevere.

I can see now how my kids sometimes use this situation against me. They see how emotional I get and they will sometimes make comments just to see how I'll react. I know daddy must seem like the better option right now because he's the super happy fun one.

I'm really working on this. Not to compete... I just don't want them growing up to hate me or resent me. I have a lot to work on. A lot!!