can Turtles still stand?

[zig]

thanks brit - i do have to look at it that way - springer vs. oprah sort of thing!

about what ng said - maybe he is unsure - i don't know. all i know is that i am very tired of all this. it [censored] my energy and i want that energy for other things, for better things.

otoh i also can see more clearly now how i avoid things that i don't really want to deal with. i haven't wanted to deal with the D conversation - the real one where we have to decide who gets what. today i have struggled with accepting and facing that tomorrow.

overriding all of that there has been more coming to the surface from deep inside. now that i accept so so much more that i am truly on my own now, the mirror is reflecting back more stuff that i have to face within myself

the theme is true deep responsibility for myself and who i am. i am seeing things i still do not want to be and struggle a bit with how to change them. it is more letting go - letting go of the old me and finding place for the new one.

there's an in between space there, where one is already dropping the old, but somehow the new hasn't quite set in and it's a sort of limbo of finding out how it is going to happen and what it is going to be.

i'm feeling ungrounded and i keep going and reading my goals list sort of using it as an anchor to keep me focused towards some little things as i go through this process...

thanks for stopping in - hope you're doing well
zig