To Lovingly Detach

[Arsene]

Interesting evening. W had told D8 that she was coming today (but again, no time was given) so this pm, me and D8 went to the pool and I told D8 to text her mom to let her know.

W text me back thanking me for informing her, but still no info on when she would come.

!8:30, D8 and I are having dinner, W shows up (interestingly enough, not wearing OM's ring and wearing my necklace - I actually had to chuckle). I was pleasant with W and offered her some food, she hadn't eaten so we ate together and had pleasant enough small talk.

After dinner, we went outside on the front porch because D8 wanted to play "super heroes". Me and D8 horse-played for a bit while W just sat there watching us. My mood was ever so slightly affected when i saw her motorcycle helmet on the porch, which meant she had probably been dropped off by OM. Then we stopped playing and I decided to leave them alone for a bit and went in to play my guitar.

At one point, D8 came in to ask if she could go for some errands with the neighbour and their kids. She said W had agreed so I walked her out and said goodbye. W was still sitting on the front porch. D8 left, I stayed out for a few seconds but no conversations were started so I just went back in, leaving W alone on the front porch.

10 minutes later, W came in telling me she would go. I simply said ok and went back to my guitar. She then asked if she could borrow my bicycle because hers was still at her old boarding house. I agreed and went back to my guitar. She then mentioned that she would try to come back the following day (Idul Fitri - end of holy month of Ramadan). She knew that me and D8 are going to celebrate with friends and I told her I'd let her know when we were on our way back. She said it didn't matter, that she would probably be here anyway because she had nowhere else to go (I felt like inviting her but i didn't). I went back to my guitar. W left.

I have to admit that I feel bad for her, she looked dejected. I guess that OM is spending the holiday with his family so she's on her own for the holiday. Must be tough. On the other hand, I feel pretty good about myself. I didn't have to try too hard to act "as if". It came quite naturally. I did make a bit of an effort to be pleasant though, and I hope it gave her something to think about, and I think that for now, that is who I'll be with her. I guess it's what people around here call "dim", is it?

Now I just re-read this and I feel horrible. It's not the sort of thing one wishes for the one they love. What does she expect? You cant walk all over people and then have them be nice to you? This isn't easy, is it?