snodderly~ Thank you! I am trying really, really hard to pull myself out of this sadness, depression, being down, whatever you want to call it.... but it's not letting go of me so easily, but clearly I'm not one to give up a fight! LOL
I did go ghost hunting with my dear friend last night, and she's coming over today, we are going to do a little spa day here at my house, we've never done that before, so it should interesting. Tomorrow I'm going to some women's picnic with another friend, I have no idea what it's all about but hey games and free food how can't it be good?
T~ OK, so I am STILL laughing at this, "Using my sooper-dooper mind-reading powers of people I don't even know who happen to be in mlc..."
I know I have the problem of over thinking and over analyzing, it's just part of who I am, trust me, I try to stop myself, doesn't work, on the up side, I don't let it cause me anxiety anymore and I can let the thoughts go more easily. Yea, a positive! I'm on a kick about being positive, and seeing the positives (in situations and people). This is no only brought on by dear one in MLC, but a lot of negative stuff/people at work, and I'm determined to not let it bring me down. I will kill them with kindness!! HAHA! Also, my counselor has assigned me homework, I have to make a list of every positive experience I have had since I've graduated high school, so that will be a long list....I'm sure that's the point.
You are right T about the emotions needing to be felt and experienced, I just tire of crying so frequently and being sad. I discussed this with my counselor, and he said, "Why wouldn't you be crying? You are dealing with a very difficult situation." I know this, but I just feel like shouldn't I be used to this pain by now that it shouldn't affect me like this? I don't know.... My counselor continues to tell me how well I am dealing with this all, he's quite impressed. What can I say, I'm trying my best.
The "being on show all the time" with our in home MLCers as you put it, does take it's toll, I think that is part of why I'm exhausted! It's not easy to always be rainbows and sunshine, especially if you've had a bad day or days or even week at work and you just don't have it in you, but you still have to try..... exhausting! T I also must tell you when you said this, "You have no idea how attractive that really is...H knows, somewhere inside, that he has gold, and may lose it...." It made me teary eyed, but they were good tears, thank you, that means a lot to me.
Wendy~I am so glad to hear I'm not the only one who's had the in the middle of the workout at the gym and all of a sudden wants to start bawling moment! LOL I thought I was the only one, now I feel less crazy! Thank You!! Perhaps I need to start working out more outside the gym, with less people in the event of random crying attacks!
I would love to share the peanut butter icing recipe, but here is the problem, I don't measure anything for it.... I just put in what looks about right, taste it, and if need be adjust, that's how my mom taught me to make icing. LOL But the next time I make it, I can try to measure it, I would do that for you. Or even if you would like I can tell you all the ingredients and do a guesstimate. Oh, and yes, it does go on a chocolate cake, I use devil's food cake mix, it's usually more moist then just chocolate cake mix.
LOL vegan, that doesn't sound fun.... I believe food was meant to be enjoyed, but that's just my opinion, good luck to him. I do LOVE hummus though! I really like the roasted red pepper kind. YUM!
Tomorrow I'm going to some women's picnic with another friend, I have no idea what it's all about but hey games and free food how can't it be good? 
