New to 180.. Any advice to make it work?

[rubysgem]

So now I am having a hard time going against everything my instincts tell me. I feel going dark will cause them to get closer but then I think not being dark was making them closer and hurting me because I had to witness it all and know I am being treated as second best now. At least this way it feels more like I am in control now. I pick and choose what I respond to. It's making him angry. Like I changed the script and he's trying to change it back. I want my marriage saved and I don't know if that will happen anymore. I used to be hopeful but the more I gave the more he took and I can't keep doing that. He keeps saying he is confused. Then says "when or if" he comes back. To me HEs dangling the carrot. I am in a mood now where I am wondering who he thinks he is... He is a lying cheater who destroyed his own marriage and he's carrot dangling to ME? Cause yeah now that everyone knows what you did to me, women are just beating a path to your door huh? And yes, I exposed him. All it did was bring them to the light. Not sure if they will crash and burn. The odds are against it but I feel like he is doing this because he "can" now. That if I were to really walk he'd come running.

I consulted an attorney about my rights. I am thinking of going legal separation. One to scare some fog out of him maybe and two because I do not want to be responsible for his debts should he get any - neither of them work. And to prepare myself for the big D should that end up being how this goes.

The sad part is, I know he loves me. I know it's me and you can see it when he looks at me. He says things that make me think he has regret but then he does things like push me away and be with her. So I know I can't believe anything he says or does.

How do you know when they are being sincere?