There used to be a poster on here named Greek, and she used to say "Don't negotiate with someone who is suing you." Divorces are, technically, civil suits and it's best not to try to negotiate directly with your wife right now.
I'm a BIG believer in mediators, but ONLY if (and any good mediator will tell you this themselves) each party also retains (or at least hires by the hour) their OWN attorney to review any final document before you sign it!!! This is simply protecting your own (and your kids') interests, and being wise.
Whether or not your wife gets her own atty is up to her, and you certainly shouldn't be trying to advise her on what to do -- she's a big girl, and it's time she put on her BGPs. But you should absolutely have your own atty representing your (and your kids'!) interests in this. I cannot stress that strongly enough.
