My plan right now is to speak to an attorney on Monday. This attorney was absolutely awesome over the phone. She was livid that my wife was not giving me time with my D's! She told me that she usually charges $200 for a consultation, but that what my W was doing was wrong and she invited me in Monday no charge. She gave me confidence that things would end up ok, and really made me feel better about my sitch.
I don't know if I can afford her yet, but she is exactly the type of person I would want to represent me. She genuinely seemed to care about my rights and wants me to know what I need to do from here on out.
Im still torn about the mediator. I don't want to go broke and maybe even break family to fight. But I will not negotiate away my rights.
My position right now is that I will file myself next week
My mom and dad divorced when I was the same age as my eldest D. His advice was to try and work with the mediator. His situation was very similar to mine regarding uneven resources. My mom was not rich, but worked as a secretary at a law firm. They defended her free of charge. My dad lost his business and every penny he had fighting for me and my sister. They simply wore him down and drained his money until he had no choice but to end the fight. I'm very scared going in, I'm not going to beat around the bush.
But as someone else here so helpfully said : " I am not going to negotiate with the very same terrorist that blew up my family"!
I'm praying and trying to behave and handle this as decently as I can. I want things to be civil. It would be a good foundation for the road ahead in parenting our D's if we can show a willingness to work together now. I'm not looking forward to Monday at all. Whether it be that I tell the W I am not going to mediation and deal with that fallout. Or if I do go, knowing I'm already coming into the negotiations at the least I will accept (50/50) when I first sit down. My W is not going to meet me there. At best she will meet me in the middle of where we now stand. I'm already at fair and best for my kids.
Im unable to sleep, eat, or do much of anything right now. I know I have to take care of myself and be in the best position I can be for the next step. I'm praying for spiritual strength, seeking encouragement and advice from here, and trying my best to have PMA and envision a fair outcome.
