hi sg - don't know if you are around. just thought i'd check in with you.

thanks for giving me this "job" . i'm beginning to see what the real benefits are. as i help other people refine their goals, it helps me to see where i am at and how i can improve and grow.

i finally ordered the Keeping love alive cd's and they arrived today. listened to the first one, so am eager to go through the rest.

there was a bit of a "development' today in my sitch. h had made an apptmt for us to meet with the mediator next tuesday, but when i mentioned that i would probably have a L look at the stuff, he went ballistic and said that if i was using a lawyer then there was no point in keeping that appointment, and he cancelled it saying he would file the papers himself

originally 2 weeks ago he said that the reason he wanted to use the mediator was because "you know me i'll never get around to all that paperwork, and the she will take care of that"

he insisted that me using a L was because i saw him as a threat, but i calmly insisted that i was not doing it to protect myself against him, but just to protect myself. and made it really clearly that it was his decision to cancel, even if he was using me seeing the L as the reason. that was because he kept saing that he'd have to cancel because of what i was going to do

i'm seeing a new pattern here - a lot of the things h said to me at BD and in the months after - they are reversing in some way and i am saying them to him - not verbatim but along the same lines.

about the affair - he repeatedly said "i'm not doing this to you, i'm just doing it"

only after i wrote what i said to him today, i realized that i sort of said the same thing back to him.

he now wants us to sit and discuss this weekend how we are going to split everything up exactly, and then he's going to file.

i have not been entirely responsible for myself and looked into what my rights are etc, or what i should expect. so am a tiny bit nervous about the conversation.

do you have any advice for me, or for how i should handle this new scenario?

it would be much appreciated.

also if any other vets can help me here, i would love to hear form you all

thanks
zig

me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"