Not a very happy story, I'm afraid..

[25yearsmlc]

9600,

unlike some, I spend NO time on asserting or wondering about OMs b/c she has not declared herself to be in love with one, ANd you have no evidence in your face of one (ie finding ONE man in the house with your wife and not swimming)

and b/c in the end, MWD advises against snooping and exposing AND b/c YOU have no control over that anyhow.

All you can be, is the better choice.


Kaffe Diem did a lengthy piece on what her real words are on the topic so if someone shows up here on your thread to tell you to EXPOSE, b/c they claim it worked for them-

decide if you want to try THIS approach, or theirs, or several all at once, which I do not advise.

Since you are here on the Div Busting site, I choose to go along with what the author and founder clearly states about her views.

Do not snoop.

Exception---if you KNOW, and I mean KNOW/KNOW/KNOW with certainty that an affair would

absolutely end the marriage no matter what role you MAY have played in her having one,

then snoop away, and if you find an affair, end the marriage.

But if you want to work on the relationship as I sense strongly you do

then focus only on YOU. NO snooping or confronting or at most you confront HER once (do not involve other people) b/c as you said

you want the Road Home, paved and smooth.

And since you realize that all you control is you, (and it's early for this type of insight to occur - so I am impressed w/the rapidity of your progress really)

you are all you control. You have your "stuff" to work on; so work on it.

She has hers and that's NOT your job to deal with but hers and hers alone. It's not your job to "teach her a lesson".

As my DB coach said "life does that for them" And btw, if you can, HIRE a DB coach b/c they are very specific/detailed in their advice. For me they were very effective.

What else are you doing to GAL?

Also, what WERE her comments in the past about what you could work on

and compare them to todays.

Is there that much of a difference OR

do you really believe she is merely rationalizing B/C IF YOU DO BELIEVE THAT

it means you believe that YOU have fixed all your issues.

You really ready to say that?