My W could have easily relocated near her work last week just as easily as she moved within 2 miles of where I live now. She could have commuted for attorney and court visits with far less driving than she will do commuting to work on a daily basis.
I do have to recognize this as a positive for me in some regard. Whether to keep me involved with the girls, to see how things go, to not have to change schools on my daughter along with all of the other changes going on around her, she easily could have left. I don't really need to understand her thinking to be able to appreciate the gesture. I do think in the long run she may come to respect me for fighting for my kids.
She approached me again today about the mediation, and if she should cancel. I said keep the appointment for now. I'm torn.
This is mediation outside the courts, and while affordable and novel, it assumes you are going to be able to compromise for it to be successful. If you are the agreement is binding once approved by both side's attorneys. It's not cheap, and I can easily see it being fruitless at this point. So we could spend a couple thousand dollars to mediate only to find it's not going to work and we are right back at the beginning. I told her that the courts will require mediation anyway. She got upset because she feels we are giving up control to a stranger to decide the ultimate outcome. I agree, I'd rather we could work it out.
However, at the moment I honestly feel I have a greater chance of a judge being fair than I do in my W's ability to compromise. I would love to have enough money sitting around to try anything that might work short of a contested battle. Heck, I'd throw the whole farm and any future earnings I have coming at MC!! But our means are very modest, and I have to be realistic and practical.
How do I tell the W that I don't have the confidence in the mediation process without setting her off again?
How do I say that I would rather have someone who knows the law do the negotiating for me without threatening her?
How do I poo poo her decision to stay in the area by not "playing nice"?
Or do I throw our hard earned money at mediation, which could really jeopardize my ability to attain competent representation? (her family has money, and yes I asked if they would chip in and they won't)
I wouldnt put it past her right now that she just wants to whittle down my ability to pay an attorney.
Any suggestions? This would happen Monday eve unless I tell her otherwise after talking to an attorney Monday morning.
