Because I know she'll eventually find out about it anyway (thus, I still gain the benefit of her being proud of my accomplishment, and "success builds attraction" and all that) . . .
This is the one thing I continue to struggle with about NC. I just don't get how she will find out about the job and school or how she will see the changes I am making if I don't talk to her and I don't see her. I have read success stories here and in other places that say that it works, and both my therapist and my pastor have encouraged NC and told me that she will know. I still struggle to wrap my head around it though. How do I get past that feeling of the whole thing not making sense?
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
Because I know she'll eventually find out about it anyway (thus, I still gain the benefit of her being proud of my accomplishment, and "success builds attraction" and all that) . . .
This is the one thing I continue to struggle with about NC. I just don't get how she will find out about the job and school or how she will see the changes I am making if I don't talk to her and I don't see her. I have read success stories here and in other places that say that it works, and both my therapist and my pastor have encouraged NC and told me that she will know. I still struggle to wrap my head around it though. How do I get past that feeling of the whole thing not making sense?
I just don't get how she will find out about the job and school or how she will see the changes I am making if I don't talk to her and I don't see her. I have read success stories here and in other places that say that it works, and both my therapist and my pastor have encouraged NC and told me that she will know. I still struggle to wrap my head around it though. How do I get past that feeling of the whole thing not making sense?
Who are you making the changes for?
Who becomes more successful after obtaining the Masters?
Who benefits from the great plan you have made?
Why do you concern yourself whether she sees it or not?
Confident man knows when others notice his actions.
March on and don't let her to distract you from your goals.
Lead.
People follow leaders not because they have to but because they choose to.
I just don't get how she will find out about the job and school or how she will see the changes I am making if I don't talk to her and I don't see her. I have read success stories here and in other places that say that it works, and both my therapist and my pastor have encouraged NC and told me that she will know. I still struggle to wrap my head around it though. How do I get past that feeling of the whole thing not making sense?
Who are you making the changes for?
Who becomes more successful after obtaining the Masters?
Who benefits from the great plan you have made?
Why do you concern yourself whether she sees it or not?
Confident man knows when others notice his actions.
March on and don't let her to distract you from your goals.
Lead.
People follow leaders not because they have to but because they choose to.
Well I totally blew it tonight. When she came to pick up the kids she handed me some papers. She is petitioning to have the court declare that I have forfeited my right to visitation until I attend some mandatory parenting classes. According to her I told her that I refused to attend the classes. This is an out and out lie and I am filing a response to the petition saying exactly that. Unfortunately I broke radio silence and called her demanding to know when we had talked about this and when I told her that I refused to attend the classes. Of course, not only did I blow any benefit I had accrued by going NC, which clearly wasn't much, but I am also sure I just reinforced the anger issue with her. I am not sure where to go now, other then to file the paperwork with the court tomorrow. If she is going to be willing to perjure herself to try and bully me into signing the waiver and let the divorce proceed before the legally mandated waiting period is up then I think it's a safe bet that reconciliation is off the table for right now.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
Well I spent all of last night and much of this morning dreading having to serve my response to my W petition yet once I served her with the papers somehow I felt much better about everything. I am not sure why that is.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
Well I spent all of last night and much of this morning dreading having to serve my response to my W petition yet once I served her with the papers somehow I felt much better about everything. I am not sure why that is.
It's closure. I'm happy for you. Now build yourself a good life and include someone who you know wouldn't do this to you.
There are obviously people using the system and these kind of ways to control people. You found out like the rest of us.
Actually today I am doing nothing, which is something that I have not done in a long time. Just hanging out, having a Sliders marathon, and playing the Sims. I will have more than enough on my plate when I start work next week and school the week after that.
M 39, W 34 M 15 S 14, S 12, S 9, D 7, D 6 Separated: 7/2/2012 Served: 7/10/2012 Divorced 11/5/2012
