I am sorry you had that interaction with H. I went thru the same with mine. When I contacted a L and started to protect my position, he went balistic. Tried to guilt me - I want to fight, I want to spend our children's money on lawyers, we should mediate, etc.
Yet, his financial proposition to me was sooo one-sided and unfair, that I had to and I don't regret it.
He didn't do anything about it until now, but now is ready to file, and insists we do it collaboratively to save money. I have told him I won't stop him but won't help him since I don't want D. And on the other hand, we have huge disagreements about financial settlement and custody issues (re. exposure to OW, which he doesn't think is wrong at all). So I don't see how collaborative D would work in our case.
He is furious at me because I am not making things easy for him. He believes I do it out of jealousy, anger and to be vindictive. That is his problem.
Sorry for digressing. My point is, I see what you are starting to go thru and I hope it doesn't get ugly. Just want to warn you that it could get that way. I know my H is extremely bitter at me for not going with his plan...
So hang in there! You are doing great. I enjoy reading your threads (although I don't post much - busy with three young kids).
Thanks for inspiring others!
(((hugs)))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
