I don't know if you're like me or not, but I found myself always praying to God to FIX things. "Lord, please make her do ______, or make her see __________, or move on her heart so she will _______."
All the while (now looking backward, I can see this), He was wanting me to WORK ON ME. He wanted to do a work in me -- and then, eventually in my entire family (and He has -- praise God!!!) ... but it was to start with ME.
I know the phrase "God helps those who help themselves" isn't in the Bible, but the concept is. Ask him to grow you, to give you wisdom and discernment, and to strengthen you and get you to a place where you can lead your family as He intends.
I believe that as you take your eyes off your wayward wife, and keep them on God and on improving yourself, He will answer that prayer. I really do.
Your experience excells, you are seeing right thru my soul. I am praying as you are saying for a miracle to happen in my wife. It is not a bad reason, but none the less is the wrong reason. I do pray for my self to give me strength, wisdom and to make me the man He wants me to be, but for the most part I am worried about W, about my kids. I want her to see what damage she is doing to our boys.
All valid reasons, but like I say, the wrong reasons. I need the relationship between the Lord and me to grow, after that all other relationships with W, kids, parents, brothers will grow.
Starsky, I will focus my prayers for my well being. There is something I believe to the core: "There is no one more important than God, from there, no body is more important than ourselves, because when we are whole, everything around us is in harmony". This belief has been shadowed by my feeling recently, but I need to bring it back to the light, the light of the Lord.
Thanks, Starsky for giving me a better perspective.
I'm sorry you're feeling low today. When I was going thru my sitch, 5 years ago, I found a lot of strength and comfort in reading the Bible every day. Specifically, I would read one Psalm and one chapter of Proverbs every morning. I was continually amazed how many times it seems like I would open it up and read EXACTLY what I need to hear, on that given day, whether it was a word of encouragement or sometimes a challenge.
Hang in there,
Starsky
I too have found great comfort in reading both Psalms & Proverbs almost every day! I have also slowly figured out out to pray more for what God's Will is for me & for my W, versus what I want him to do.
Starsky is 100% right AA! It's like the words jump off the page at you & you say AhHa! I follow a website & ministry dedicated to Marriage Restoration (Rejoice Marriage Ministries). You should check it out. There is a wealth of information along with this website, that explains to you the rolloercoaster you will go through & some insight to peace. CharlyneCares is a daily devotional that for some reason 99% of the time speaks to the emotions & circumstances that I am going through presently. God has a strange way of getting us to listen to him if we open our eyes & ears.
I don't know if you're like me or not, but I found myself always praying to God to FIX things. "Lord, please make her do ______, or make her see __________, or move on her heart so she will _______."
All the while (now looking backward, I can see this), He was wanting me to WORK ON ME. He wanted to do a work in me -- and then, eventually in my entire family (and He has -- praise God!!!) ... but it was to start with ME.
I know the phrase "God helps those who help themselves" isn't in the Bible, but the concept is. Ask him to grow you, to give you wisdom and discernment, and to strengthen you and get you to a place where you can lead your family as He intends.
I believe that as you take your eyes off your wayward wife, and keep them on God and on improving yourself, He will answer that prayer. I really do.
Starsky
How wise you truly are Stasky!
I too, as stated in my previous post would pray for how I felt God needed to work. After about 5 months, along with finding this sight (and Starsky of course), I have learned to pray to the Lord to work his WILL into me. I also pray to him to lead my wife down that unfamiliar path & work his WILL into her, all while protecting her of course.
There are many good scriptures out there to pray, but for me the first & foremost scripture that I had to pray was : PSALM 51
You will also tell that in my signature is a very particular scripture that reminds me daily of how patient I must be!
Hang in there Brother! There isn't an amuzement park in the world that offers a Roller Coaster quite as interesting as this one!!
Not sure if you have ever read any of my previous posts, but I TRULY can't STAND Roller Coasters, so that makes this journey that much more harder...LoL
Thank you for your support, every single one of you that takes the time to post on my sitch are truly a blessing. I can feel better about my self knowing that I can count on the Lord, and you.
The LORD puts people in our path who he feels will be an asset & not a hindrance to our trials & tribulations. "He never promised us there would not be pain, He just merely promised us that we would come out at the end unstained"!
I have been blessed with (2) very new close friends (never met them before this) who have gone through what it is I am exactly going through. And both of these guys have listened, provided perspective, and remained neutral about the entire sitch. Which means they do not hold any hatred toward my W in the least bit. Which is exactly what I need. Of course I want to give a "shout" out to the great people I met on here recently since I joined as well, and am continuing to look forward to how they handled their sitch.
I have also learned that continuing to "BETTER" myself has to be for me, whether or not W does decide to come back! I firmly believe that the Lord has led me down this path (i.e. Here, DR, RMM) for a reason, because our M will be restored. But that will not be until he has had a chance to paint his Ultimate Masterpiece and work on each of us individually first! Who would want to go back to the same old M as before anyway?? I know we all think we do, but in actuality a better/stronger/more loving M is what we actually want. And unfortunately (or is it Fortunately) we have to go through events like these to have as Starsky puts it "A Wake-Up Call"! Otherwise we continue to go down the same old rabbit hole, continuing the same destructive patterns.
But, what do I really know? I am still learning, as well as trusting in the Lord's promise each and every day.
I received a called from W, it was from another phone so I answered thinking it was somebody else. I had plans to pick up my SS13 today and buy him some clothes and take him to the movies. W started by saying that I did not have to pick him up, that it was no longer my "responsability" to buy him anything and that she was going to provide for him. She also told me she is going to return the car back to me because she had already found something better. I am supposing she got the vehicle from OM, but in reality who cares. I was in shock because I could not believe what she was telling me, but tried to remain as calm as possible. I said to her that because our R ended it did not meant that my R with SS13 had ended. I said to her that this decision she was making, I did not agree, much less respect it. She said that she is not doing it to hurt, but for me to let go of them, so I can stop hurting myself by hoping that everytime I see her something would change. I just said it was ok, and that I understood. I also said for her to take care of herself, and my SS13, specifically from OM. He has been physically violent to her twice (that I know) in 4 months. She said she will be ok.
She end up saying to me that this was going to be the last time she would speak or see me. She said she did not want to hurt me anymore because of the feelings she still has for me and that she was greatful for the 10 yrs we were togheter. She asked me to respect her decision as I have always done it, and not to look for her. I agree, I have to respect her decision for as painful as it is for me. The last thing she said: "I do not want you to lose yourself because of this, You are worthy of to keep fighting for yourself, God bless you."
