Absolutely. But many, most, times, they are leaving the LBS, or choosing an OP, because there has been something missing in their R with LBS. So they probably don't fear losing the LBS at the beginning. In those cases, gotta give them something to fear losing.
I don't disagree. I'm in favor of a short "Plan A" before going to bigger guns, esp. if you were legitimately an ass prior to the wayward spouse's infidelity.
Starsky, This is the post I was referring too earlier. I was legitimately an ass lots of times in my marriage...i'll accept that. But you say a short plan A before going to the bigger guns....what are you referring to?
"Plan B" (see Harley), or MWD's "After the Last Resort Technique." Pitch black (unless there are kids, in which case you'll have to go "dim" and not "dark"), separate yourself from the situation, hard boundaries (legal, financial, emotional, physical), threat of D if they don't turn away from the path they are on.
I haven't read your whole sitch, but I did read your first few posts when you joined here. Are you sure your wife isn't now genuinely in love with this guy? As you yourself stated, she doesn't seem like the usual confused/angry/bitter wayward we see here.
