Some days are harder than others. We had been touching quite a bit in the last week, but since the hiccup the other night, there's quite a bit of distance between us. Thinking back on it, when she apologized, I didn't handle it the best, and it's probably why she doesn't feel comfortable. I should have hugged her and thanked her for apologizing, but instead, I felt like I needed to stand firm on what I felt was acceptable and explain it. Looking at it now, I can see that I went into protection mode (and I was really feeling a lot of fear), and I can see it pushed her back into her shell.
On the bright side, the fact that I can sit back and reflect on these things now and make sense of them, think thru how I want to be and see where I've slipped from the path, really demonstrates my growth over the last year. This whole thing is a process, and I can see myself moving in the right direction. My goal would be to pull these thoughts together in the moment....getting closer.
