can Turtles still stand?

[chatterbug]

zig i got a bone to pick with you. You asked me a bunch of questions and then after I replied to you. You just zagged...

[labug]

Thanks for asking, I'm fine as wine!

I've had a few go-rounds on here but very brief as there is enough room for everyone.

[zig]

i'm sorry chatter bug - did you mean on my thread or on that one that KD had started.

sometimes there are so many posts and i start reading threads and then i forget to go back and reply.

also, i have tried multiple times to get the posts to come to my email and they don't and when i get on the board, i don't always remember where i was last, and often miss posts that someone wrote back to me on another thread


i'll go hunt it down

sorry again
zig

[zig]

I just went through all the posts you wrote to me, as well as all 22 pgs of that thread, chatterbug, and I can't find one with a bunch of questions in it for me

i guess you'll have to either ask me again, if that's ok, or point out the post to me

zig

[zig]

ooh i like that - fine as wine!!
can i use it too - it's definitely a blanket phrase if you don't mind me saying so

[needgrace]

definitely a blanket phrase, zig and bug

zig, i just want to thank you for all the thought and time you are putting into everyone's goals.

[zig]

thanks ng

and i'll take a hug with that, too if that's okay.

some of this stuff is bringing up stuff within me and i'm not really sure where i'm at with all this. reading that post of yours and thinking about self-responsibility, and how that has been something i have never really taken on for myself - and still don't in many ways.

how i get overwhelmed alot, and then just drop or don't deal with something that's "too much for me to handle"

and how i use the above phrase to often not step up and be responsible for myself.

how i'm still learning what that means, and that there are new challenges all the time.

i'm suddenly feeling lonely tonight (as if that's new!) but i got good news and even though i don't have a strong urge as before to share it specifically with h, i would have liked to share it with someone. tried to tell s about it on the phone, but he was tired and lying in bed next to h, and was not responsive at all.

i did call my sweet friend and tell her, but it didn't feel quite the same, even though she was so so happy for me. i was really happy in that moment with her, but afterwards, i started feeling the loneliness. i must focus on just being ok with where i am, even while i acknowledge that this is how i feel

still have to work on just being okay to be quietly alone with my good news - maybe later with friends..

i'm finding out that even though i really have reached a place where i accept what is going on and have really accepted being alone, now new things are coming up for me, deeper stuff that i need to face within myself - and even though in the past i could pretty much not acknowledge them, now i can and even see where i have to act. but taking the steps to actually DO them is not coming so easily.

maybe first the awareness has to come and then i can work through it. i can't change everything overnight, so will try to just stay conscious of it and do it the best i can.

i do have IC tomorrow, and maybe i will bring this up and talk to her about it.

i'll work towards fine like wine for now

zig

[needgrace]

anytime a hug for you, zig..as many as you want (((((((((((( ))))))))))))

i hope you saw my note on my thread to you replying on your good news

i understand...after my parents died, i missed them most when good things happened...becoming a VP, getting married,etc... it was much harder than not having them here to share tough times..

and i feel the same about W, so many good things have happened to me that i would love to share..

i think it is all a process..and once we go through one part..we discover yet another layer. That frustrates me but I guess it is all opportunity for more growth.. (although to be honest, sometimes i am dead tired of growth and just want to have fun!)

i hope that as you uncover these truths and self awareness, that you also grow leaps and bounds in compassion for yourself. i think the two must happen in concert or the awareness will also be too overwhelming.

it is funny, i realized tonight that you remind me of my W in ways.. my old W, not the alien one .. your creativity and the way you go after things... for her, her tenaciousness guarded/covered a real soft, sensitive core.. i think the same is true for you?

glad you have IC tomorrow, i love when the timing of it is just right..

[ces67]

((((zig))))

Hope you have a good weekend. Sorry the lonliness has crept in for a while. I'm certain it will be a brief visit. You're doing so well and these feelings come around for all of us. Enjoy the new day and hope your IC appt is helpful.

[vera be fierce]

(((( ))))