Needing some guidance... 5

[jks]

I told the lady that owned the basement apt that I had to pass. It didn't feel right to me. I've been searching and searching all week and haven't come up with anything that feels right. Kinda feeling stressed. But I'm guessing this is just a sign that I need to take it slow and be patient. The reason I've been so stressed is because the location of my job is 1 hour and 15 min away so it's a pain to make that drive. And expensive. But they said that they're totally fine with me driving in two days a week and doing my scans and then bringing all my edited stuff back the next week. So I do need to be patient.

I've had a rough last couple days. I miss my H. I miss my family. I'm going out to find a new place for myself and I'm basically starting over. New friends, new job, new school for my kids and no H. It's hard to make these decisions by yourself when you've relied on someone else to help make the decision with you. So now I rely on God. And my constant state of confusion tells me that the places I have chosen thus far are not the ones for me. I'm just going to stay put for a while.

Feeling tired and emotionally drained.

I did do something fun last weekend though. I went to an outdoor concert with a friend on Friday night and it rained on us. Ha. It was still super fun. Listening to some of the songs made me long for my H though. I just wanted to be close to him. We haven't ever done a concert together since we've been married... I don't think. How sad is that? I would make it a point to do that kind of stuff with him on a regular basis. Ugh. Sorry. I am too focused on him and I tend to do this when I miss him so much. And maybe it's just the closeness I miss. It's been a long time.

We all just want to be loved, right?