Interpretation of MWD and DR regarding infidelity

[Denver_2010]

I'll take it one step further and say that the more they do it, often times the more their betrayed spouse begins to pursue them . . . hard.

What made most of us come here in the first place? What woke us up from our lazy "I was a decent spouse, but nobody's picnic" marital mediocrity? Made us read self-help books, work out, lose weight, look better/dress better/smell better?

Our spouses cheated on us.

Strange dynamic, hunh? And yet, it's that "threat of loss" -- that pulling away -- that makes us pursue.

The key, young Grasshoppah, is to LEARN that most basic of human dynamics, and to FLIP IT to your advantage.

Where's Gooch when we need him??


Starsky

Absolutely. But many, most, times, they are leaving the LBS, or choosing an OP, because there has been something missing in their R with LBS. So they probably don't fear losing the LBS at the beginning. In those cases, gotta give them something to fear losing.