Divorced. My fault, and cant move forward

[Mrs D]

Carnac:
I cannot thank you enough for your posts. Your posts seriously calm me, even for a bit.

I think I have done well maybe with the pouncing this week. Sorta. Sunday and Monday with his what I thought flirting - I played along, but didnt really pounce on anything per se. I thought I did well with NC, well till he came over do drop my son. Then I may have pounced some I guess. But the rest of the week, I have done extremely well I thought with NC and the pouncing. Althought last night he had that smirk he does that is to die for - but I didnt read into anything. Just him being him. Although - I do read more into things than what I should I guess..

He had said that statement at the party before he started dating this girl. I guess it was a week or two after when he started dating her. Either way - I see your point.

We are both in a golf outing this weekend. My brother throws his annual golf outing for his bday. In all honesty, I wish my H would have cancelled, but hes still going to be there. Even after all of my family knows he is moving on, or whatever he is doing. I have alot of anxiety building knowing he will be there Saturday. My T said just to be cordial. Dont look into anything more than what it is. Have fun. Be yourself. Smile. If he comes around more than what I feel is necessary - simply walk away. This will be the hardest day I will have to go through so far, hands down. Good thing is that my family and some close friends will be there to support me.

All I keep thinking is its another chance to pounce...