I totally get where you're coming from, and I would think and react the exact same way as you (including the projecting). Because that's what we're used to.
The reason I was asking those questions is that maybe there is a better explanation for H sleeping on the couch. My H used to complain about the bed being uncomfortable and used to say that he slept much better on the couch. Or on some nights (recently) when it was really hot and humid and we didn't have the AC going in the bedroom because I don't like to sleep with it on, I have woken up in the middle of the night to find him asleep on the couch in the living room with the AC blowing (even though I told him that if he's really uncomfortable, then he can turn the AC on in the bedroom, it's not like I was forbidding it).
Spouses who sleep on the couch irk me. And reading your H and CES's W do that - though likely for different reasons - brought up my feelings of frustration when H was doing the flip flopping. I used to hate it when he'd sleep in bed one night, and then on the couch the next for no apparent reason (other than him not wanting to be close to me). So the flip flopping really ticked me off.
Sorry for going off on a tangent about the couch. The fact that he told you that it had nothing to do with him wanting to be away from you is good. I don't think he'd say anything if that wasn't true. So quit the projecting!
