To Lovingly Detach

[Arsene]

Well, just a few thoughts on DR so far. I've been reading most of the day and got a lot of good stuff out of it but it seems to me that the book is mostly written for couples still living together and still working things out. Nonetheless, I'm still reading and maybe I'll get to the part which relates more to my sitch in a bit.

I've actually set some goals but was wondering if that sounded right to you. Here they are:

1. I would like W to quit seeing OM.
- She might stop wearing his ring on her middle finger
- She might start wearing a necklace I gave her which she loved (she wore it for a week after I got back but not since)
- She might start spending more time at home
- She might stop pulling back after we have a good day
- She might be less "sisterly" and more affectionate
- She might spend the odd night at home with D8
- She might call me more often, just to chat
- She might be more relaxed around me

2. I would like her to start believing WE have a chance again
- She might talk about my changes more
- She might express her feelings more often
- She might be more open to/initiate minor physical contact
- She might talk about a future which includes me
- She might call more often just to chat
- She might be more open to doing things together

3. I would like her to come back home
- She might show more tenderness
- She might spend more time at home with us
- She might be more open to family activities
- She might spend the night home with D8
- She might talk about future
- She might initiate more R talks
- She might talk more about her feelings
- She might test me to see if I would consider it
- She might test me to see if my changes are real
- She might call more often
- She might buy stuff for the house
- She might start remembering our good times
- She might spend more time at home

Does this sound right?

With regards to asking for what I want (Step 3), that will have to wait for now otherwise I'll be pushing her away.