I'm sorry I can't be of more help. Personally, when I saw (and heard) the things my wife was doing with OM, I had a lot harder time with the "loving" half of "loving detachment" than I did with the detachment half. At some point, self-preservation usually kicks in, unless you're very co-dependent (and I do think you might be).
Are you getting any individual counseling through all of this?
